Thursday, 8 January 2009

UFO Damages Wind Turbine (NOT)

In some breaking news, a wind turbine at Conisholme, England has lost one of its 20M blades and had another damaged has UFO idiots experts fruitcakes researchers believers in a frenzy. UFOolgists as they like to be called (I can think of a lot of other things) are now crawling all over the site like ants scouring for clues.

Not surprisingly, the local and even national press is abuzz with the story of the millenium - little green men are real after all and we're being invaded! Strange lights have been reported in the sky around the area and mysterious sounds have been heard.

Uh huh!

Although Dale Vince one of the site owners wasn't saying much, the MOD are being rather more sober.

They're not even vaguely interested, in fact.

What the UFOidiots want us to believe is that a massive spaceship could navigate its way across the vastness of space, successfully get into low earth atmosphere and then crash into a wind farm!

Photos of the structure appear here, although they're not that clear. Even looking at that, I have another explanation which is closer to home and rather more believable and I can sum it up in two words:

Metal fatigue.

I may be wrong, but my immediate guess is that the missing blade actually came loose or began to bend while the turbine was rotating at speed. As it flailed around it collided with a second blade causing that severe damage before eventually falling off completely.

Occam's razor folks.

You read it here first. I'll update this story if any clearer explanation appears.

UPDATE:

and here it is, just 30 minutes after I posted my results, Associated Press puts this on the wire (courtesy of Google and copyright Associated Press)!
"Fraser McLachlan, chief executive of GCube, which insures more than 25,000 wind turbines worldwide, said that although it is unusual, this type of incident happens about five or six times a year. It does happen that a blade will sometimes just come off a machine for one reason or another," he said. "The main reason is the blade may shear."
FUCK YOU Ufologists!

Reason wins again.

Those bright lights are just that, everyday bright lights or more likely fake memories. More on this in my upcoming book which may even come out this year.

UPDATE 2:

The brilliantly sober Financial Times has an explanation for the lights in addition to a carried away "expert" as its Energy Editor, Ed Crooks writes at lunchtime today:

Nick Pope, a UFO expert, said it could be “one of the most significant UFO incidents for years.”

The Financial Times can reveal, however, that the likely cause of the lights seen in the area was a firework display.

Peter Bell, a retired farmer who lives close to the wind farm site, celebrated his 80th birthday on Saturday night with a party that culminated with fireworks being let off in the back garden.

In another priceless quote (this one appears in a newspaper from Thailand!) the amazingly gullible Russ Kellett, from the Flying Saucer Bureau, said witnesses had reported:

“Balls of light in the sky and the MoD (ministry of defence) has no explanation. We are very, very excited about this. To hit two of the blades, any object must have been about 170 feet long."

Where do they find these people? The MoD isn't interested Nicky boy. They don't give a fuck because they have better things to than chase your flying spaghetti monsters. As for an explanation, I rather think they came to the same conclusion as I did.

Dear God, if we weren't in such a recession I'd be screaming, "Get a fucking job, you idiot!" but now I'm denied that comeback.

Those weird lights in the sky were fucking fireworks! Not aliens from the planet Zod, but common or garden display fireworks all the way from down town China.

UPDATE 3:

My head is starting to hurt with all this as the story spreads across the globe. A sober report in the Louth Leader's website, "louthleader.co.uk" lists several other instances of blade failure along with a quote from the "tentacle man", John Harrison. Looking from his landing window, he saw:
"a 'massive ball of light' with 'tentacles going right down to the ground' over Conisholme wind farm."

"It was huge. At first I thought it must have been a hole where the moon was shining through but then I saw the tentacles – it looked just like an octopus. It was an incredible site; I have never seen anything like it before. I have no idea what it was, all I can say is what I saw".
Dear god, does this man wear spectacles - does he need to? Has he ever seen fireworks before? The paper doesn't elaborate on these points but that's the sort of thing I'd be asking. Seems that Mr Harrison (no age given) has gotten caught up in all the hype and just gone along with it.

Paraphrasing what Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel crooned in, The Boxer, "a man sees what he wants to see and disregards the rest."

He sure has done here.

UPDATE 4:

The story has finally hit the US with Fox news carrying a story from The Sun which says:A woman motorist told how she saw a UFO zoom towards the wind farm and strike the turbine.

"There was no trace of the missing blade."

Which is patently bullshit - the bloody thing was there for everyone to see. This is the result of overexcited early reports, but the Currant Bun isn't going to let a few facts get in the way:

An [unidentified] UFO expert said: "We are very excited."

Humm, wonder if that's Nick Pope - who is either nuts or very smart, I can't tell yet. He used to work at the MOD, but is now a TV personality - promoting UFOs. You decide that one.

The Bun goes on:

Dorothy Willows — who lives half a mile from the scene of the hit-and-run — was in her car when "strange lights" loomed in the evening sky.

"The lights were moving across the sky towards the wind farm," she said. "Then I saw a low flying object. It was skimming across the sky towards the turbines."

Isn't it amazing how a simple firework display (as was revealed earlier in this article) suddenly turns into a low-flying object - oh yes, and a moon squid.

I know from personal experience that journos put words into people's mouths, so I can't be sure that's what Mrs Willows said - but I wouldn't be surprised. People are obviously keen to get in on the act and not be outdone. It's the old "It was THIS big" claim.

Hey ho.

More on this as the bullshit, sorry, story develops momentum.

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