Stephen Green Is (Probably) Dumb

Predictably, Stephen 'Bird Shit' Green has come out in all of a fluster after comedienne Ariane Sherine helped launch the "There's Probably No God" campaign, yesterday.

Unsurprisingly, Green wasn't in evidence when the Christian adverts appeared last year warning that people who rejected God were going to spend eternity in hell.

Oooo oooo, Steve. I'm trembling in me boots at the very thought.

In a statement to AFP, Green whined:

"It is given as a statement of fact and that means it must be capable of substantiation if it is not to break the rules," he said. "There is plenty of evidence for God, from people's personal experience, to the complexity, interdependence, beauty and design of the natural world.

"I believe the ad breaks the Advertising Code anyway, unless the advertisers hold evidence that God probably does not exist."

Which is where he starts to go wrong. Green's press release lectures editors on the ASA code as follows:

SUBSTANTIATION
'3.1 Before distributing or submitting a marketing communication for publication, marketers must hold documentary evidence to prove all claims, whether direct or implied, that are capable of objective substantiation.

'Relevant evidence should be sent without delay if requested by the ASA or CAP. The adequacy of evidence will be judged on whether it supports both the detailed claims and the overall impression created by the marketing communication.'

'TRUTHFULNESS
'7.1 No marketing communication should mislead, or be likely to mislead, by inaccuracy, ambiguity, exaggeration, omission or otherwise.'

Green obviously missed the word probably.

Carlsberg's marketing has said for years that its is probably the best lager in the world. In fact, it probably isn't, but probably is like that, it's not a statement of fact, just an idea. Green is confusing probably with definitely.

Curiously, when this was first mooted, I hear that the message did not include "probably" at all and the word was only inserted at the behest of London Transport.

No one can say for sure that there is no god (or gods come to that); but by the same token, no on can say for definite that supernatural forces exist. Fact is, you and I might be just brains in a jar: it's an age-old problem for philosophers and goldfish everywhere.

What Green see as evidence for God I see as nature in all her magnificence. Poor old Green can't cope with this - because that destroys everything he understands. Every bit of evidence we have (that's proper evidence, not some story from a dusty old story book) says that life on Earth evolved from little more than simple strands of DNA.

Scientists think that the entire universe was created in an instant from a tiny mass of matter which exploded about 13.5 billion years ago: the Big Bang. Others don't agree, they think that the event was triggered when a couple of "branes" (sheets or membranes of alternate space-time) collided; but this is the realm of string theory and those guys can't agree on much.

Anyway, Green smugly announces that the bible is immutable and can be quoted without problem.

The Christian evangelist is not concerned by fears that his complaint will lead to atheists complaining about Christian adverts. 'I am sure many of them have complained about Christian advertising already,' he said, 'but a statement such as "The Bible says 'the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord'" is entirely factual. The Bible does say that. The statement "Jesus said, 'I am the way, the truth and the life - no-one comes to the Father but by me,'" to take another example, is a Biblical quote, from the same Bible which is part of our Christian Constitution and upon which witnesses promise to tell the truth in Court. The Bible is, to coin a phrase, our Bible.'

He's missed the important point that although you can quote parts of the bible, you can't automatically use those quotes to cause offence to certain groups of people without falling foul of precisely the same guidelines.

He also incorrectly suggests the UK has a Christian constitution - it doesn't. The UK has a Christian heritage, but that's entirely different - the place is about as secular as they come.

Course, Green never let facts get in the way of a good story, running an advertorial in New Statesman suggesting that the HPV vaccine was going to turn our daughters into harlots, which opened (according to its own release) with the words:

'VIOLENT CRIME - SOWING AND REAPING'

Delightful.

It went on to opine:

'There is a Biblical principle that we reap what we sow. It applies to nations as well as to individuals. What politicians sow, the people reap. When politicians sow evil, the people reap misery, and the poorest reap it the worst.

"Now we have the disaster of teenage infertility. Every government initiative, including the HPV vaccine, will increase it, but as all the targets revolve around pregnancy, no-one in power knows how many young people they are making sterile and nobody cares."

Someone was pissed and called the ASA who insisted that, CV provided 'robust, scientific evidence that the HPV vaccine caused infertility in teenagers'

I don't blame them and where I live we have a disaster of teenage pregnancy not infertility. Green is obviously confusing the HPV vaccine with the bacterial infection, Chlamydia trachomatis. But hey, he's a Christian (direct line to God) so he knows more than the medics and people who bother to research what they write.

HPV - the virus that causes genital warts - is carried by men and is thought to be a major cause in certain types of cervical cancer. Virgins don't suffer with it. Immunising against HPV is a sure way to prevent HPV and reduce a common and dangerous cancer that claims the lives of many each year - even, dare I suggest, Jade Goody may not have been so ill had HPV vaccination been available.

Chlamydia is a different kettle of fish - it's bacterial, not viral for starters - but like HPV, condoms provide an excellent level of protection and it can be cleared by a simple, short course of antibiotics. The problem is that most people (50% men and 75% of women) can remain asymptomatic for some time, even when the damage has been done.

About 40% of women with Chlamydia will go on to develop pelvic inflammatory disease which may lead to damage to the fallopian tubes, uterus and surround tissue; resulting in sterility. It can also lead to, potentially life-threatening ectopic pregnancy (where the foetus implants outside the uterus) and chronic pelvic pain and even arthritis. [Figures from the CDC].

Where Green may have become confused is by the less-known reference that Chlamydia is more common among young people, particularly women because the bacteria can more easily take hold in the less mature sexual organs. It is also passed readily between gay men and through oral and anal sex. The CDC recommends that all sexually active women under 25 are screened annually although so far as I am aware, this is not routine in the UK.

Green's (probably) pissed off because, as Douglas Adams wrote, "he doesn't get invited to those sorts of parties."