Stop That! You'll Go Blind!

And so goes the old wive's tale of admonishment dealt out to many a happy schoolboy caught "spanking the monkey" or "bashing the bishop" when he should have been studying.

Ah, those were the days...

Now it seems there was an element of truth in that old saying - but only if prostate cancer can metastasize to the optic nerves or other visual areas; and if it should, well frankly that would be the least of your worries.

The BBC reports from a Notingham University study, published in BJU, which has found a tentative link between the amount of sex a man has in his early years (20-30s) with the occurrence of prostate cancer in later life. Wacking off seems to present just as great a risk as engaging in sex with a partner, suggesting that hormones play a roll and reducing the implication that a virus or other factors may be involved.

As prostate cancer is often treated with hormone-reduction therapy, the team suggest that the increased presence of male hormones may be causative link although other studies have suggested that ejaculation causes the gland to release toxins.

While cancer charities have welcomed the finding, they were quick (and correct) to point out that this research is based entirely upon the recollections - and honesty - of each man tested. Memories that in some cases were 30+ years old! Not exactly the most reliable evidence...

So, it is with that skeptical view in mind and the fact that I won't live forever that I'm now going to flush me "custard bag".

Now where did I put those biology texts I used to study behind the bike sheds?