Woman Loses £70,000 bag - in space!

Only a bird could do this and only an American bird at that.

Stargazers are usually not the most exciting people you'll meet down the pub, but this one has to be a first - they've worked out how to track the movement of the £70,000 worth of tools that Heidemarie "butterfingers" Stefanyshyn-Piper through the night sky.

Scientists have used Newton's laws to calculate the progress of the missing bag (the toolbag that is, not the American bag). The ISS is far more interesting to look at and you can at least see that with a naked eye - the bag has been described as looking like a homogeneous blob; NASA refused to comment on the appearance of the toolkit.

See, this is what you get for making it normal for birds to dance around their bags in nightclubs. I always said it would all end it tears.